Shades of a Masquerade
by AliceOfCakes
Summary: And one by one, the colors come peeling off like old paint on a wall. - GrayLucy


_[ Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without ]_

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Gray sees what he believes.

And believes what he sees.

Lucy is _beautiful_. And shines in different colors and brightness.

He would not, ever, find the perfect color to describe her (that was the job of writers, which Lucy also was). She just isn't _one_ color. She's that, and so, _so_ much more.

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_Red_

Lucy's cheeks grow flushed when she sees that yet again, Gray has managed to discard most of his clothing. It wasn't like he meant to do it. It's just that certain circumstances, certain placements, all converge and sent a subliminal message for him to start removing his pants.

It certainly did give him a kick to see her looking so red, though.

And so, whenever she politely (albeit extremely flustered) asks him to kindly put his clothes back on, he always refuses.**  
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_Orange_

Unlike Erza and Natsu, who always radiate a red aura of energy (and more often than not, hostility), Lucy seemed to gravitate towards a more benign, gentle shade of orange. She's peppy but not hyperactive, and while her smiles are all it takes to light up the entire room, it isn't like she grins maniacally or laughs the way the Dragon Slayer does.

More often than not, Gray catches himself staring at her.

And she looks back at him, sometimes.

She smiles.

The sun suddenly seems darker by comparison.**  
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_Yellow_

They can't believe it, almost, when a letter comes from the Heartfilia estate, asking for Lucy to come at once. Natsu instantly explodes, his table catching fire, and he shouts unintelligibly. Erza menacingly fingers one of her many swords, an subtle anger that is compounded by that fact that earlier on, her strawberry shortcake had been upended by Natsu (but she'll forget about him, for now). Happy bursts into tears. Gray just stares at the floor.

Lucy reads the letter, blank-faced, then stores it into her pocket.

She smiles.

It isn't anything serious, she assures them. Natsu calms down enough just to hear her explanation. Erza puts away her sword, Happy wipes his face. Gray risks a glance at Lucy's face and doesn't expect what he sees.

"It's fine. Just a family matter, is all."

She goes ahead to reassure them that she'll be back within a week, and that she simply had to fulfill her obligation. Gray can't help but notice what a beautiful yellow her smile is, how it sends calm and happiness.

She flashes that smile, keeps it on like a mask until Natsu and the rest are firmly certain that yes, everything will be alright. Like a ray of sunlight, she uses that smile to bring joy. She gets up to leave, with promises to bring back some meat, cakes and fish as a souvenir when she returns.

Gray could almost pretend that he hadn't seen the sadness in her eyes.**  
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_Green_

They come to see her off the next day, and Natsu wonderingly remarks at the amount of luggage she's bringing with her. The blonde scoffs at that, reminding him that Erza always brought much more than that and it had always been fine with him. The redhead kindly asked Lucy if she needed help with her bags, but Lucy replied that no, it was okay.

One by one, she bid them goodbye. Natsu grinned and let his fists burst into flames by way of farewell. Lucy politely asks him to put them out, then ruffles his hair and promises to bring roast pork when she returns.

Erza stands by indifferently, but not even her armor would have been able to hide that slight trembling in her eyes. Lucy smiles at her concern and says that she'll bring as much cake as she could humanly manage. This cheers the Requip mage up a bit, and the trembling ceases for a moment.

Happy is easier to bid farewell, and all he asks for is a package of the best fish Heartfilia could offer. Lucy then starts to complain that all she was good for was food, but then relents and promises him as well.

By the time she reaches Gray, Natsu and Erza have already wandered off (Natsu wanting to burst things, and Erza just simply wanting to thrash Natsu's face in if he wrecked anything). Happy, by virtue, has of course followed Natsu. So they are left alone.

He isn't expecting anything special, since out of the entire Team Natsu, he's probably the one she had spent the least time with. And so it is.

She shakes his hand and smiles again. It is green, her color today, he thinks. She radiates life and energy, and it makes him think that there was the possibility that she's going somewhere that could crush that glow.

And once again, he sees that sadness in her eyes, when she finally lets go of his hand and turns away, luggage in tow. Her hand had been warm.

Somehow, he feels that neither Natsu, Erza, nor Happy are ever going to receive what Lucy had promised to bring back for them.**  
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_Blue_

The week comes and goes and still there is no sign of Lucy returning. Natsu is going wild with worry, (literally – he has taken to destroying street signs) – Erza isn't herself enough to even bother to try stopping him – Happy has taken to walking rather than flying.

Gray, meanwhile, wishes that his intuition isn't so good. He wishes he never thought of it, that he could just be going crazy like Natsu.

Two days later, a post card arrives and it's addressed from Lucy. The whole guild leans in when Natsu rips it open:

_Dear Fairy Tail,_

_I'm sorry if I've made you guys worry. The family meetings just sort of extended, and I kind of lost track of time. I'm sorry that I only contacted you now, haha._

_It's been amazing here. Father's been cooperative for the most part, and as long as he isn't glowering down over me, the meetings have been rather pleasant. I met a lot of my childhood friends, the sons and daughters of the companies Father contracted with when I was younger. I took some pictures with them, which I've included here._

_Well, I only wrote this to let you know that I'm doing well, and that I might not be back for a couple more weeks. These meetings are a pain! But well, as long as I can keep Father from busting out and raging on me._

_Love, Lucy._

_P.S. I'm working on getting those meat, cakes and fish. Since I figure you guys won't wait that long, I'll have a package sent soon._

The guild settles back into its usual peace, at the confirmation that their member is alright. Natsu tears the pictures from the package, and the rest of Team Natsu lean in closer to inspect them.

The first one is of Lucy sitting at a lush couch, in a beautiful red dress. Seated on her right is a girl who looks somewhat like her, but with brown hair. On her left is a handsome young man, around a year older, they would have guessed. He had fine features and shaggy, ash blonde hair. The picture had caught him, Lucy, and the girl at mid-laugh, so it's clear that they were having a good time.

The two unknown people keep recurring in the other photographs, the boy more so than the girl. Every picture featuring him and Lucy together always showed Lucy smiling a big, special smile, that Gray has never seen before. It bothers him, for an unknown reason.

Before even reaching halfway through the stack, Natsu grows bored and leaves them on the table. Erza drifts off, as well, presumably to order a cake at the bar. Gray hangs on to the photographs a bit longer and continues to look through them.

He tosses them off haphazardly until he reaches the last one. Here, Lucy is with the mysterious boy again, but she is behind him, so presumably, they weren't exactly talking when the shot was taken.

Lucy is still smiling, but something seems not quite right about her eyes, how they don't seem to coincide with her expression. Her brown orbs look somber, like they are contemplating a burden far too heavy.

All of a sudden, her red dress doesn't seem fitting anymore. A more suitable color would have been…

…_blue_.

A deep, bright, dark and light blue all at the same time, a baleful shade of azure that would hide her face and make it seem like the waters were calm. A lake surface with no ripples indicating sadness, or fear, or anything like that, but at the same time conveying a deep, aching longing and regret.

The photographer hadn't quite done her expression justice – had Gray been a mere, casual observer, he would have missed it.

But from then on, that photograph was always tinged blue to him.**  
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_Indigo_

Days, weeks, and finally months pass and still Lucy doesn't return. Her package never comes – letters from her are brief and only come once a week. Gray notes, as he sits at his usual seat, that next week, it will be a year since she has left.

Time has done nothing to cool Natsu's temper. Everyday, he smashes something in the hopes that the noise, the wreckage, that _anything_ would bring Lucy back – he only stops when, Erza, finally fed up with it and far too worried by herself, places a gentle hand on his shoulder and shakes her head. Happy cries and Natsu, finally realizing the weight of what was truly happening, sits down and puts his head in his hands.

Numb. Though he should be grieving, like Natsu was doing quite well, Gray only felt a stinging sense of numbness.

He decides to go out and practice some magic, just like he used to, to take his mind off of things. Leaving Natsu and the others sulking, he puts on his cloak and walks out.

He hadn't stripped in a year.

In his training place, it is quiet and calm, not to mention freezing, as winter was drawing nearer and near. If Lucy didn't hurry soon, they'd be facing their second winter without her. That thought sent a chill through his skin, so he puts her out of his head and concentrates.

Gray puts his fist near his palm and shouts the familiar words. An ice sword grows out from it, but he is stricken by the difference.

The color is entirely different.

What used to be beautiful, blue-white ice that grew from his body was now a darker, sadder color. A deep, deep blue with streaks of dark black, drawing all eyes towards it and leaving Gray breathless.

He hasn't realized that all this time, as the seasons passed and as the days grew longer and darker, so had his heart and mind. Shining in the ice were beautiful patterns of stars, and that's all it takes to finally – _finally_ pierce through that numbness that has enveloped him. Stars, just like the beings that Lucy used to call with her keys.

Stars, that Lucy always used to talk about.

Stars, that he had dreamed of seeing with Lucy.

Stars that shone bright against an indigo sky.

Stars that did nothing to light up the inky dark in his heart.

He crashes to his knees and moans, speaking her name for the first time, in weeks, in _months_ – "Lucy. _Lucy_. I'm sorry I couldn't…" He doesn't even know what to add anymore, so he remains quiet and stays there.

He wonders if, wherever she is, Lucy was dyed a dark indigo as well.**  
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_Purple_

It is summer when she finally returns. She brings with her the promised packages, and the whole of Team Natsu is so happy and relieved to see her that they forget all about that, instead choosing to crush her in a hug.

Gray retains some semblance of self-control, so he stands by as he looks at the pathetic sight of Natsu sniffling, of Happy weeping, and of Erza almost – but not quite – letting her voice crack. Lucy obviously can't breathe under them, so it falls onto Gray to hint that maybe, just _maybe_, they needed to get off of her – _now_.

When Natsu is comfortably seated, eating his meat, and Erza is content with chewing on her cake, Happy's out of the way, Lucy _finally_ turns to Gray, a wide smile on her face.

He expects her to be happy, being reunited with them after so long.

But her eyes smart, and she notices that he sees it. "Please come outside with me. I – I need to talk with you." She takes his hand and pulls him outside – and the warmth of her hand is so familiar and alien all at the same time that it makes his heart ache.

When they are alone, she finally looks at him, her jaw set and her eyes clear of any tears. But one look at them tells Gray all he needs to know.

He lets the words fall from his lips.

"… you're not staying, are you?"

Her smile falters, shakes, and finally cracks, and the unshed tears that had been kept in for _so long_ come rushing out all at once, and _she can't_, _he can't_, they can't bear it. Unsure of what to do, Gray tentatively wraps an arm around her, then follows up with a second, until he's wrapped around Lucy and she's crying into his chest.

It takes a few minutes for her to settle down, and when she does, those fragile hands whose warmth Gray would have wished to know better push him away gently. And he notices that slight bump on her left hand, digging into his shoulder, and he looks down. His breath catches.

Oh.

Set with a dazzling, purple stone, the golden ring shines against her ring finger and tells Gray that the story was over.

_Oh._

"I only came to say goodbye."

_I don't want to hear your farewells._

"I'll write all the time, I promise."

_Those letters aren't you, will never be you._

"I – I just had to see you again, one last time."

_And I you._

The sun is setting as they return to the guild, and Gray holds her hand gently, like he is afraid of breaking her. No – afraid of breaking her _further_. She has already been broken – that beautiful shade of red, orange, yellow and green have been stained and brought down to a black.

Gray closes his eyes.

Lucy and black… look so beautiful in his mind's eye.

At the front of the guild doors Lucy stops him. He looks at her questioningly. "Gray. This is the last chance I'll ever get to say it."

His breath hitches at her tone, but he wordlessly closes his eyes. He feels them coming, anticipates them by the way her breathing is suddenly close to his face. He feels soft lips covering his own, and all he wants to do is to break down, as if crying, as if weeping, as if doing that would protect the both of them and just _stop time_.

The clock tower chimes.

They break apart and Lucy is the one crying.

"I love you Gray. I'm sorry it – I'm sorry it had to be like this."

_And I'm sorry I couldn't make you stay_.

He can't say it out loud, but the smile he gives her seems to suffice.

The sky that day is streaked with red, orange, and yellow. And the clouds are hued with purple. A deep, rich purple, that tells him the darkest days had passed.**  
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_Gray_

Underneath all the bright colors about her, the real Lucy was really a simple, not quite white and yet not quite black canvas. She was blank, and constantly empty, and the colors had to come from someone else. She wasn't anything. She was what others wanted to see.

Natsu and the others had wanted her to be happy. And so she was.

Her father had wished for her to marry Eric, the mysterious boy from the photograph. And so she had.

Gray had wished for her to love him. And so she did.

But he also wishes to introduce himself to the real Lucy, to the Lucy that hid under all the false layers she has been forced to don. And Lucy protests to that, saying that if he did, he would grow bored and leave.

He teases her, saying she had already left him first, which although he had intended to come out lighthearted stings both of them in the heart.

Instead, Gray kisses her forehead and draws her in closer, as they prepare to say the first of their many goodbyes. Her shampoo smells wonderful, and her soft hands, no longer fragile though, wrap themselves assuredly around him.

He brings up what she has said before, and changes his answer.

"Even if I grow bored of you, don't worry. We'll paint you up lots of different colors, and you'll shine brighter than a rainbow. You can help me pick the colors," he laughs, so she laughs, and they laugh.

The time for her to go is much too soon, and he releases her reluctantly. She laughs, saying it's fine, she'll come again soon. So Lucy leaves with a big smile on her face, and this time there is only happiness in her eyes.

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To him, it doesn't matter if she's red or blue or black. It doesn't matter if she's married to someone else. They are just meant for each other.

Because if you take away all the colors coating her, all the personalities that she constantly had to wear –

You would find only him.

_you would find only gray._

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_[ and know we cannot live within. ]_

**end.**

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**Author's Note:** _whew_. glad that's over. this was a pain to write, ahmygawsh.

**History:**

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**published March 29, 2014**

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this came out way better than I had thought it would. Thank Mashima that Gray's name was a color. By the way, those two italicized thingies are halves of one quote. Put them together and _whee_ you get the beautiful idea that gave birth to this story. ish. Thanks for reading.

**Disclaimer: **fairy tail doesn't deserve the honor of being mine.


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